The concepts of gender differences are introduced to
children at a very young age. Children
subconsciously adhere to social norms through the discipline and guidance given
by their parents and teachers. In
their early developmental stages, children are groomed to act within the
parameters of a certain gender according to their sex. Children internalize these concepts and
chose to engage in interactions that support the hidden curriculum taught in schools.
This is the embodiment of gender through the discipline of the child’s body
movements, actions and behaviors according to the child’s sex, just as Professor
Karen A. Martin describes in her article Becoming
a Gendered Body: Practices of Preschool.
After reading the Becoming a Gendered Body: Practices of
Preschools article, I was able to relate many of my experiences as a nanny to
the studies done in the preschool classrooms. Two weeks during this past summer, I attended kindergarten
camp with a five- year- old child that I cared for on a daily basis. In the classroom at free time all of the
boys spent time playing with toy cars, trucks, and airplanes as well as running
around aimlessly and screaming. The
girls tended to play in the dollhouse and created art projects with paint. Gender, I noticed, was being displayed
by body language of the children. Their
behavior and response to direction as well as their physical appearance
signified this display. Nolan, the
five-year-old boy I accompanied at the per-kindergarten orientation is
autistic. In his eyes, gender
norms are completely invisible.
Nolan loves to wear girl’s clothing; I often find him running around the
house wearing one of his sister’s rompers or a flowered one-piece bathing suit.
He sees nothing wrong with his
choice in clothes but his sisters constantly laugh and ridicule him. Over the summer, his mother allowed him
to wear whatever he would like in the household, but when it came to his public
appearance, she made him change before leaving the house. This was always an
issue and he would throw fits for hours.
Nolan simply wanted to be
comfortable and did not understand that wearing girls clothing was abnormal for
a boy. I knew the classroom was
going to be a tough transition and new experience for him. From the first day in the classroom he
consistently broke the stereotypical gender norms. He loved to play with the dollhouse, paint, sing, and dance. All of the other kids always made fun of
him and thought he was so weird. Even
the teachers would suggest that he “play with the boys” however, his inability
to read and understand social situations meant that he didn’t understand his
actions were socially “odd” for a typical 5-year-old boy. He simply wanted to do activities that
he enjoyed.
I was so angered when other
children laughed at him simply because he was breaking a social norm. Its
unfortunate that society has created specific gender norms, kids like Nolan get
made fun of for wanting to play with dolls and wear clothes that were made for
the opposite sex. He simply wanted
to be comfortable and enjoy the activities that made him happy.
Schools facilitate gendered
behavior. Kids are constantly learning what is appropriate ways for someone of
their sex to act and dress. The fact that children are being exposed to these
specific gender norms in the most important years of their development is
detrimental to their concepts of individualism and self-expression. Children should be able to do what makes
them happy, and wear what they want regardless of the color and style. Gender
differences seem and feel so normal to most, however many kids don’t experience
this natural gender identification according to their sex. For these kids, growing up can be a
miserable struggle as they search to identify with something that may not be
who they are internally.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBlair West
ReplyDeleteI was interested in your story of Nolan and his less-than stereotypical gender choices because, as the article observed, the relevance and intensity of gender differences is shaped at a startlingly young age. As we learned last week in class, while sex is the biological disposition of organs, gender is something that one chooses to internalize and externalize, and, in your example, Nolan is simply doing so. His choices are no different than my father drinking beer or my mother wearing flowering perfume in accordance with their gender stereotypes. Still, since Nolan's public behaviors are contradictory to the available norms, there is difficulty and tension associated with growing up. But what struck a chord with me most in your response, Tina, was your prediction that you "knew the classroom was going to be a tough transition and new experience for [Nolan}." It is ironic and even disconcerting that upon entering a classroom environment student are cultured and shaped in such strict manners by their peers and teachers. I'm sure we can all remember instances of our pre-school past when we or our friends were ridiculed, like Nolan, for certain things that once seemed perfectly happy and normal at home. Whether it be the cultured need to label or criticize the unknown, or our out-of-whack gender stereotypes, it is clear that Nolan is a quintessential example of the flawed practices of preschools.
During my freshman and sophomore year of college, I volunteered at a nursery school in the downtown New London area. When I saw the little girls playing dress up or the boys building a fire station out of blocks, I saw nothing wrong with or out-of-the-ordinary about this behavior. However, when I saw that one of the little boys preferred to dress up in stereotypically feminine apparel and claimed that he "felt so pretty" whenever he wore the lip gloss he frequently brought to school, I would laugh at these actions. It took me a long time to realize that by laughing at his choice in dress I was contributing to the notion that a child's body is gendered through societal expectations about what is "normal" for girls and boys to wear and what is "normal" in terms of how boys and girls should behave and present themselves, especially in public. People have little understanding that an individual with female sex organs is not born wearing a dress and an individual with male sex organs is not born donning a pair of pants. This little boy, like Nolan, would probably have chosen to come to school wearing stereotypically feminine clothing and adornments had he had the freedom to choose his outfit without the constant worry of being ostracized by his peers. Since society continues to view "gendered bodies as natural," people may view these children as too eccentric, sexually confused, or abnormal when they are simply partaking in acts of self-expression. I agree with Tina when she states that "growing up can be a miserable struggle as [children] search to identify with something that may not be who they are internally." Children are socialized to believe that an individual's appearance, mannerisms and behavior must appropriately correspond to his or her anatomy and any disunity between one's inherent sex and one's socially constructed gender may be deemed abnormal by society. -Alexa Campagna
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that really resonated with me was the fact that Nolan's mother allowed him to dress however he wanted in the house, but policed his dress when he was going out in public. When I was growing up, one of my best friends was a boy who only had girl friends. He was more traditionally feminine, and loved to play dress up. One day, his Dad came home from work and found us dressing up with his sister's dress up clothes. His Dad was furious at him and made him put all the clothes away. At the time, I didn't understand why his Dad was so angry. In my second-grade mind, I figured he might of just been upset because we were playing with something that didn't belong to us. However, when I got older and looked back on the incident, I realized it was probably because his Dad didn't want his son to be dressing in feminine clothes. In Nolan's situation, it seems more like his Mom was trying to protect him from being ridiculed by other children. I wonder how often parents police their children's dress simply because they want to protect their child from being teased, and how often it's because they don't feel comfortable with their child breaking gender norms.
ReplyDeleteJosephine Bingler
ReplyDeleteI too agree that children should be able should be able to do what makes them happy and wear what they want in an effort to discover individualism and self-expression. Unfortunately, we live in a society that doesn't embrace this idea. As we've discussed and read, we are gendered even before we are born. While I fully agree that children should be able to discover who they are on their own, without conforming to gender norms, we must realize the implications of raising a gender neutral child. Raising a gender neutral child is subjecting them to bullying and teasing. Like Meg, I wonder how many parents dress their children in "gender fitting" clothes in order to prevent them from harassment. Has our society come to fear breaking gender norms or has gendering become so normal that we don't even realize we are becoming slaves to these "norms"?
Nolan's situation is most certainly one that I can relate to. As a child I was dresses in boys cloths by my Grandmother, which I did not mine. I like Nolan liked to wear the opposite sexes cloths but at that time I liked to wear them because they were comfortable. However when it came to social events and sometimes even preschool I was told to wear a dress and I absolutely hated it and at the time I couldn’t understand why I had to. I was so young that I didn’t understand gender all that much. All I knew was I wanted to wear cloths like my brother and I was not allowed to all the time. Additionally when I was told that I couldn't wear boy cloths I found myself asking why and therefore bringing attention to my gender. I wouldn't have questioned my gender if I was allowed to dress as I would have pleased.
ReplyDeleteJae responding Tina