Gracie Miller's response to Daddy and Papa

            The movie “Daddy and Papa” shed light on the world of gay parents.  I like how the film focused on the same parenting questions all people face, “is this the right time to have a kid? When is the right time? Will I make a good parent?” and so on, and it made parenting a human issue early in the movie, instead of a sexuality issue.  That is perhaps what I enjoyed most about the film, was that it really focused on the humanness of parenting and the immense need for good parents.  I found it disheartening that states are continuing to ban gay adoptions and that in the name of some people feeling comfortable with the rules of society, thousands of children grow up without parents, who maybe could have been adopted.  The movie pointed out that over 50,000 African-American children are in need of homes, yet states keep making it harder and harder for gay people to adopt.  I cannot help thinking that our lawmakers need to take a step back and see the big picture, as an adoption agent said in the film, gay couples are a large untapped resource.  On that same theme, the fact that so many black children need homes creates a phenomena where there are many white gay couples who adopt black children, the film brought about this point gently, but made it plain that this is great but also an added level of societal difficulty facing both parents and children.  While I can see how a biracial gay family can be hard for society to accept, I think it is a real shame that people are not more accepting and I found it hard to watch the film and see how people can vilify the parenting these men do. 

            Another aspect of the movie that surprised me was the kind of catalogue shopping for children adoptive couples do, and that the couple did in the movie.  I found this aspect a bit creepy and sad. 

            What the movie talked about some and I thought was interesting was the women in the movie’s response to the gay dad’s.  Starting with the woman in the grocery store who commented on the crying baby in the grocery store, asking where her mother was and assuming the father could not handle it.  The offense that the men in the film took to women thinking they were incapable of being “good enough” parents is understandable and I would guess a sentiment felt by more than just the gay portion of the male parental population.  The foster mother in the film was sceptical of the gay dad’s due to her religious faith and her reconceived notions of the gay community.  She thought they could do something to the child in an inappropriate sexual manner or some other kind of abuse.  Yet once she got to know them she saw how good of parents they were, and that her prejudices were simply misinformation.  I think she is a great example of how views can change with a little education.  Finally the mother’s of the gay men in the film provided an interesting viewpoint, where it seemed that they were happy they were grandparents, that their sons were happy and they even really like their sons partners, but none of the parents seemed totally content with their sons sexuality.  I think this film really brought to light the role of expectation within society.  How expectations that group of people within society have of and for themselves influences how the rest of society views them, and how the expectations of other parts of society have on a particular group.  In the end expectation is the root of disappointment and I think that this film pointed out that wider societal expectations are of a certain family ideal that exists in more forms than the narrow heterosexual perfection people would like to believe exists.