The documentary "Daddy and Papa"opened my eyes to the difficulties that gay parents endure when trying to enter the world of parenthood. It was interesting to see the ordeal parents have to go through when entering the adoption process. I was most surprised when it showed them going through CPR classes. You definitely don't see biological parents going through a CPR certification program or psychological evaluations. One of the gay parents going through the process expressed his frustration when he said all straight people have to do is fuck and they get a kid. Society creates our self-image. Kids are not born homophobic. It is society that creates homophobia and racism. Children with gay parents would not realize that their family situation was not the norm until they become influenced by an institution other than family.
On top of the all the background checks, evaluations, and paperwork, gay parents also have to deal with media constantly reinforcing the importance and idea of a mother. I know, speaking as an adoptee, the Rugrats movie brought up a lot of questions as it did for the adopted boy who did not have a mother figure at all. Our society imposes and reinforces so many norms including the idea of "maternal instinct". I was struck by the part when one of the dads described being in public with his adopted child. He said that if the baby was crying in public, people would ask where the mother was. As a father, I would be so offended by that comment. Lastly, I was so touched by the part where the biological parents of one of the boys says it doesn't matter who becomes a parent as long as they are caring, providing, and loving the child. There are so many children that suffer because we still have laws that don't allow gay parents to adopt. Being gay should not be a factor in whether or not you can become a parent.
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