Carly Jensen Response to Daddy & Papa

The documentary Daddy & Papa gives an alterative view of fatherhood, and introduces its viewers to the challenges that come with starting a family as an openly gay man. The men interviewed offer an alternative idea of the “American dream”.

What I found most interesting was how the documentary was able to offer different perspectives of being a gay couple raising a child. The three families interviewed were all different, one was a single father, one couple was adopting, and the other couple used a surrogate. This diversity of family styles was what made the documentary so strong. It also proved the point that no matter the relationship or sexual orientation of parents, they are still a parent and their child is still their child. The storyline, of Jim and Phillip, the couple whose friend acted as a surrogate mother for their daughter, Fannie, best proves the idea that sexuality and gender do not matter when I comes to the difficulties of raising a child. They split because of the fact that their relationship was lost while raising their daughter. Walzer’s article discusses the gender imbalance in parenthood and the resentment and loneness women can feel once they become mothers. This can happen to any parent no matter their relationship before having children, Fannie’s fathers illustrate that gay parents are no exception. I also found it interesting that their main worry was that their daughter had two fathers, but that she had “divorced” fathers.

 However, what I felt was most powerful was the storyline of Oscar and his father Doug. As a gay man Doug was unable to legally adopt Oscar but despite this obstacle he was Oscar’s father. Oscar’s biological grandparents were interviewed and without hesitation they saw that Doug was clearly Oscar’s father, because he was there and took care of him. This idea that biology and gene’s are not necessary to be someone’s parents is really what this documentary is about. The documentary offers a view into a world where parenthood is not dictated by a maternal instinct or a biological connection. All of the couples interviewed were clearly their children’s parents and just as capable of being both a “mother” and a “father” to their children.