Jenn Hyslip Response to "Thinking About the Baby"

The article “Thinking About the Baby: Gender and Divisions of Infant Care” by Susan Walzer opened my eyes to a topic that I never spend much time thinking about – how the mental labor that is required when raising a baby enhances the already socially constructed gender roles. The first category that Walzer touches on is the act of worrying. What struck me most was the statement, “worrying was such an expected part of mothering that the absence of it might challenge one’s definition as a good mother” and how I am partially guilty of believing this. (Walzer, 221) As an occasional viewer of the popular reality television show, Teen Mom, I have become more likely to “root for” the mothers that are always by their kids, and shy away from paying attention to the mothers who pawn their children off to the grandparents. Additionally, I end up adoring the fathers that do “worry”. However, the sad truth is how fans enjoy the fathers that “worry” about their children because it is so out of the ordinary for a father to “worry” at such a young age. As Walzer mentions, “there is a much greater threat to their social identities…” (Walzer, 230)

The second element of the division of mental labor is processing the information. Walzer goes on to argue that the assumption that mothers will do the work is highlighted by the expert advice mothers to-be are given. The ultimate guide has been the book, What To Expect When You’re Expecting. It is supposed to be a pregnant woman’s reading before going to sleep and should never leave their bedside table, while the remote control doesn’t leave the man’s side of the bed. Another element that I think is associated with information is the cultural phenomenon of the baby shower. A baby shower is a party thrown for the mother to-be and acts as an excuse for females to get together and present her with gifts and humorous games that mock the dreaded life of motherhood. The soon to be father is expected to stop by, say hello, and leave – not participating in the celebration at all. It almost acts as a correlation to the slight effort males are expected to put into the baby.

The third section of Walzer’s article is managing the division of labor. She delves into how mothers are almost burdened with the responsibility of trying to encourage the father to become more involved. In a way, I beg to differ. I believe that a lot of times, mothers become controlling of the actions taken, and the fathers remain passive and let the mother “do what she does best”. The well-known argument is that it is the maternal instinct for mother’s to know what to do and because she is the one who is physically carrying the baby, she develops a connection. Whether this is scientifically true, I believe that because it tends to be the mother who is the central figure in the first bath, the first diaper, etc., etc., they don’t bother dealing with the father making a mistake.  I can think of so many examples in the media where a father is deemed a “bad father” when they don’t financially support the child. In the reality television show, “Real Housewives of Orange Country”, one father is exploited for not paying child support and thus is deemed an awful father. While the reasons of skipping out on child support remain unanswered, it solidifies what Walzer says of the father being the breadwinner. Many times in television shows, if there is a stay at home father in the show, he acts as a comic relief, as this is not ordinary role. Finally, another issue that I think is interesting is how the roles change in many households as the children grow up. As soon as the child becomes a teenager, the mother is checked out, and the father assumes the role of the protector. What is so interesting about this is that it enhances what we have talked about in class many times – the male taking on the physically dominant figure in the household.