Walzer's "Thinking about the Baby" article brings up very obvious and not so obvious aspects about the imbalance of responsibilities between men and women in terms of caring for a baby. The more obvious imbalance would be that of the physical tasks for the baby, which women perform most of. The less obvious imbalance is that of the worrying about the baby.
One point that Walzer brings up in the article that I found quite interesting was about how women do not see their requirements as mothers and wives of a household as oppressive when compared to their oppressions outside the private setting. When you really think about it, the role of mother and wife is a highly oppressive role. The woman becomes dependent on their significant other because they are the ones expected to make sacrifices in their lives in order to be a good mother and wife. This then leads to make the man the boss, causing the woman to lose any sense of power. Women then may feel like they need to be a mother, a GOOD mother specifically, to reclaim some power lost in the private setting. In reality, motherhood acts in an opposite manner. Women are put down by the man of the house.
Why is this oppression not more obvious? The answer, to me, seems to be in the fact that society suggests that it is natural for a women to just give herself up to motherhood and wife-hood. This is a ridiculous claim. It's like saying that because we as humans can, and are built to reproduce, that we all want to have kids, when in reality some people don't have any interest in doing so. And if motherhood is so "natural", why all the parenting books and why isn't there some natural tendency in men to be fathers? I mean, after all men and women are of the same biological templates, with only one chromosome and hormones determining main differences, so why not?
The whole concept of worrying is the less obvious part to me. It's quite interesting really, because we don't immediately think of the burden that it is to have to worry about a child and how there is a lack of sharing of that burden. The general trend is that men worry about making the money and women worry about the baby and the house to make a happy home. Its also funny how the worrying is reinforced. For example, what happens when you know for a fact that the baby is in fact perfectly fine? It's healthy, full, sleeping well, with a clean diaper on. What's left to do? Does the mother continue to worry? If she doesn't worry, is that a bad reflection on her mothering? I mean, if the baby is fine, that should reflect well on her seeing as she has fulfilled the baby's needs. Also, in terms of the fathers, I find it difficult to believe that they do not worry about their kids. Sure, the child was not birthed by them, but there has to be something in them that instills some type of worry if it does the same in women. The problem is that women are pressured into being a good mother, whereas for men, if doesn't matter if they're good fathers or not. All that matters are the numbers and that's that.
Josephine Bingler
ReplyDeleteI had not thought of motherhood as oppressive until we started reading and discussing Hollingworth's article. This article further opened my eyes to the expectations mothers face when entering the role of motherhood. Mothers have so much pressure to be caring, worrying, and instinctive when it comes to their children. Many of these pressures require women to leave or not even enter the workforce in the first place. I remember in the documentary "Miss Representation", a women running for senator was constantly asked, "Who is going to take care of your kids?" Her son was a senior in high school. The truth is that a man would never be asked that question. It would be automatically assumed that his wife would be taking care of the children, therefore he is free to follow whatever career path he desires. Like you say in the end of your post, for men, their only pressure and main concern is bringing home the bacon and earning the highest salary possible. This disconnects the father from a lot of emotional attachment, therefore they worry less.
I was also alarmed by the fact that women believe that motherhood is innate and comes naturally to all women. Many women who do not want to have children and who do not follow the motherhood mandate are believed to be cold, heartless, and selfish individuals. I believe that this false belief that motherhood comes naturally is the reason why so many women suffer from postpartum depression. After having a baby, a women feels as if she should magically develop the ability to know what her baby wants and needs at all times, which leads them to feel this pressure to be completely enamored with their newborn and with the entire process of motherhood. Childbirth may be natural, but motherhood is not natural. If it were, then why would women be purchasing and reading so many self books like "What to Expect the First Year?" The fact that people are writing these books and others are reading them is prime proof that motherhood is not instinctual and that all women do not necessarily have a "natural propensity" to mother. The belief that mothering is instinctual and is hard-wired into the DNA of every woman bolsters the idea that men's natural place is in the public sector, the workplace, while a woman's is in the private sector, taking care of the child and properly maintaining the home. If the "naturalness" of motherhood remains a belief, it will be more difficult for a woman to enter or gain any prestige in the workforce and gender wage gaps will persist.
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting how some women view being a house wife as their job. We se most women say that they are independent and are free to work but then when a family starts to come about things change or rather their minds change. When women get pregnant at their job they are expected to stop working and care for the child by their boss. It is almost as if when a women has a child that is her new job which may not necessary be false but that should be up to the women. Society has created how a woman should be when she enters motherhood and some mothers accept their role as a care tacker of the family. I don't think this is wrong but I think that women are being pressured by society to accept a role that they may not want for themselves.
ReplyDeleteJae
I agree with Melissa that the role of motherhood does have an imbalance of visible and invisible tasks and hardships. Women do take on a bulk of the physical responsibility because of the fact that they carry the child for nine months and then usually take on a role of primary caregiver. I think this is why most of the oppression women face as mothers goes unnoticed to themselves and those around them. The Hollingsworth article opened my eyes to how women are expected to have children and not having any is seen as deviant and unwomanly. Much of the oppression that Walzer discusses is due to a female’s role as a mother and the expectation they face. I agree with Melissa in that women feel both responsible but also intimately connected to their child and there the oppression and hardships that come with motherhood and being a wife are invisible because they are assumed to be a norm.
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