The "Boys and Men in Families" essay talk
about how men or rather boys are brought up in a society that expects
and trains them to be violent, independents, emotionless, and
detached from the family and especially their mother. Boys are taught
to be the opposite of feminine and this later on in life can and does
cripple them. As teenage boys in our society hit puberty they come to
realize that they have to prove their manhood to society; they have
to prove they are masculine. The essay brought up the point of how
masculinity is a social construction. I completely agree with this
point. The moment a “manly man” sees a feminine man he is
instantly seen as not masculine but as a sissy or as gay. There is no
limit to how masculine or how not masculine a man can be or rather a
person can be. A man is a man and just because he isn't violent
doesn't prove anything about his masculinity in order to break down
these stereotypical gender roles we need to start with redefining
masculinity and femininity in our society. Society needs to realize
that gender is a performance.
Gender and gender difference or gender
inequality is everywhere. By this point I mean that gender inequality
is in the work place, in schools, in sports and these differences are
easy to notice if you actually look. In terms of men in society and
being in power we as a society have created this notion that men are
more than women and that they have to be the protectors of the family
and very stereotypically mainly. As a society we view man as powerful
figures because that is what we feel they should be and that is what
we expect from them so I cannot understand why most women are
confused about why men are in power. Women themselves succumb to the
very same notion that men are suppose to protect them and care for
the family. CLEARLY THIS IS NOT TRUE FOR ALL WOMEN but for most it is
and I have seen it at this college. Women are always trying to
impress a guy that she likes either by the way she dresses or carries
herself around him. I think that women need to realize that they give
men the power to be in control of them and in society.
I am a great believer in gender
neutralizing the next generation. By gender neutralizing I mean
letting boys and girls wear unisex clothing and having the same
expectations for boys and girls. Boys should be allowed to be
feminine without society saying that they are a sissy or not a real
man and girls can be masculine without others thinking that they will
be a lesbian. I see no problem with a boy wanting to wear a dress
especially at the age of 3 or 5. Children should be allowed to
express themselves in whatever way they want and feel that they have
to. I don't think the biggest issue for a 3 or 5 year old is how can
I be masculine or feminine today it should be how can I feel
comfortable in my own body today and around my friends. Allowing
children to be gender neutral may seem like a lot of work but its
not. All your doing is letting your child make their own choices
based on how they feel. We do that everyday we dress how we want to
and act how we want to so why can't children do the same? Just
because things have always been one way in the past doesn't mean that
they can't be another way in the future.
Comment by Emily Hunter: I both agree and disagree with the statement that “a man is a man and just because he isn’t violent doesn’t prove anything about his masculinity”. I personally feel that a man is more masculine if he is willing to step outside the limitations of masculinity by expressing emotion and avoiding violence and/or risky behavior. While it is easy for me to say that stepping outside the lines of masculinity makes a man (given I am a woman), we must always remember that men are not performing masculinity to impress women, but instead are performing masculinity to impress other men (as described in Guyland). Women are instead a form of currency that aids in defining a man’s masculinity. Therefore, I believe that from a man’s prospective it would be harder to feel that violence, lack of emotion, athleticism, sleeping with women (etc.) does not define the quality of a man. But then again, these are simply socially constructed ideals of masculinity. If men are willing to begin to break the boundaries, maybe eventually aspiring to fulfill masculine ideals will aid in creating a stable man rather than one confined by strict and unrealistic ideals.
ReplyDeleteIn response to the idea that women are always trying to impress the guy she likes based on how she dresses or how she cares for herself, I agree. If a girl is going to hang out with a group of girlfriends she pays much less attention to her appearance. While she may still wear a cute outfit to impress her girlfriends, the clothing choice she makes will not be the same as if guys were to be present. For example, if a girl is going to hang out with girlfriends would she wear a skin tight miniskirt, a low cut tank tip, heels, and spend time making sure her hair and makeup looked perfect? If a woman would not dress this way to impress her friends, why does she feel the need to wear clothing that objectifies her body to impress men? While I understand women like to feel validated based on a man’s approval of her appearance, this does give the power to the man (the man has the power to pick the woman). Who is to say that a woman doesn’t have the right to pick the man?
Lastly, in response to the idea of gender neutralizing children, I recently read a story that hinted at the patrolling of gender roles from an early age. A young boy was about to start kindergarten and his mother took him shopping for shoes. He picked out a pair of zebra print ballet flats because his favorite animal is the zebra. His mother, finding this adorable, purchased the shoes and posted a picture of him wearing the shoes on Facebook. Within minutes of posting the picture, comments from people she hadn’t talked to in years began bashing her abilities as a mother stating she was going to turn her son gay and that his outfit of choice was despicable. The fact that this child (barely 4 years of age) was being patrolled by strangers for a shoe selection he made based on his favorite animal is appalling.