In Carissa Froyum’s ‘At
Least I’m Not Gay’: Heterosexual Identity Making among Poor Black Teens,
she examines the pervasive sentiment among urban black youth that homosexuality
is wrong and the behavior that stems from this moral judgment. This examination
is largely connected to the idea that men and women police sexuality as a way
to construct their own masculinities and femininities. Not only that, but “they
conflated sexuality with gender nonconformity by ostracizing gender
nonconformists as gay” (Froyum, 604). Heterosexual boys present themselves, and
their gender, as anything but gay – they change their “gay-coded” behaviors to
conform to straight stereotypes, they disassociate from gay people, and declare
their heterosexuality which is often times done through acts of violence,
threats, and bashing homosexuality and homosexuals. Further, the students
typically do not make the distinction between sexuality and gender. If someone
is gender-nonconforming, they are labeled as gay. “They teased and ostracized
gender benders as gay or lesbian, and they humiliated gay boys and lesbian
girls by drawing attention to their gendered behaviors” (Froyum, 615). Essentially,
if something about you wasn’t masculine, you’d be called out for it. Furthermore,
I would like to examine the author’s observation that “they presented their
heterosexist beliefs through essentialist discourses about the origins and
moral consequences of sexual orientation. These accounts naturalized their own sexuality
and attached status to heterosexuality” (Froyum 609). Last semester in my Intro
to Queer Studies class, we read Angels in
America and analyzed the character Roy Cohn, who slept with men but did not
identify himself as a homosexual. “Homosexuals have no clout,” he would say.
Consistent with Froyum’s analysis, Cohn attached status to heterosexuality, and
was not willing to give it up even though he fit the definition of a
homosexual.
Luckily, in my experience, my high school wasn’t as rigid in
their beliefs as the students at UYN seem to be. There were a handful of openly
gay or bisexual individuals (one of whom reported never facing any homophobia),
in addition to one openly transgender girl. From my perspective, she had it the
worst. No one understood why “he-she” (or the incredibly dehumanizing “it”,
which still makes me cringe every time) would wear dresses to school. Guys wouldn’t
pass up on the opportunity to bash her when she wasn’t present, seemingly
affirming their masculinity to each other. As the article explains, “policing
gender is sometimes used as a way of securing heterosexuality.” It should be
noted that my high school was primarily white and located in a suburban middle
class to upper middle class town, so it was different from UYN in that there
were fewer impoverished students and few students of color. The far-fetched
ideas about how one becomes a homosexual (like through proximity or after
having complications in a heterosexual relationship) were less popular than
they are at UYN, but still present.
As a homosexual myself, I chose to only let a few, select
number of friends know that I was gay until after I graduated. As a sociable
guy and class president for all 4 years of high school, I was rather
well-liked, respected, and known for being an intelligent hard worker. I didn’t
want anyone’s behaviors or attitudes toward me to change simply because of my
sexuality. I feared awkward social interactions and, apparently, loss of
status. In retrospect, I wish I came out to everyone while still in high
school. In order to change minds and disrupt false stereotypes about the queer
community, I think it would have been beneficial for my peers to see that the well-liked
person they elected year after year is indeed homosexual. Many of them knew me
since elementary school, and, wouldn’t you know it, I didn’t make a move on any
of them (“If someone were gay, they surmised, then he would sexually
proposition anyone, even straight friends.” Froyum, 617) and not a single one
of them became gay from being in my presence all those years.
I was also astounded at the lengths to which people will go in order to secure their heterosexual identities and to ridicule and torture those who identify as homosexual. The adolescents at UYN more blatantly displayed their feelings of greater "morality" and supremacy as heterosexuals through displays of violence and hate, such as when a boy declared a sexually ambiguous stranger to be a "fag." At my school, these displays were more subtle but, like at Mike's school, certainly did exist. People would use disgusting phrases such as "that's so gay" to describe something that was not approved of. This phrase worked its way into the everyday vernacular of many individuals, and although I do not think many people realized it, has strong undertones of homophobia and strong heterosexual legitimizing sentiments. Many students would also refuse to walk near the LGBTQ center for fear that someone would see them in its vicinity and presume they were gay. These subtle displays are seen by everyone, including homosexual students, and lead many to feel the need to gender bend or alter their true identity in order to conform to the mainstream of heterosexuality. My best friend who came out during college had a few girlfriends during high school and tried to incorporate guys into his large group of friends, consisting mainly of girls, as best he could. Because he saw that being homosexual would lead to rejection by some ignorant peers, he had to lie about his identity and felt he had to engage in long-term opposite sex relationships in which he felt uncomfortable and out of place. -Alexa Campagna
ReplyDeleteMike, I really appreciated that you shared those experiences of High School (so often a turbulent and emotionally tricky time) with us. I think that every one in the class can identify in some way with your experiences, for in High School, homosexuality played a largely different role than it does in college. I was interested in your sentiment that you wish you had come out earlier to your classmates, to "disrupt" stereotypes and show them that such a charismatic class president was homosexual. This idea struck a chord with me, because one of my friends came out in high school, a soccer player who was quite popular, well-known, and respected. He told a few close friends at first, and when word got out, people began to observe him differently. For instance, when he walked by, people would say, 'he walks so femininely... did he just check out that guy?' I was shocked by their evaluations, for I realized that it was only the way they perceived him that was different, not his actual behaviors. This idea, that people justify their own beliefs, is central to the concept of homophobia, I believe. Thanks for sharing that with us, Mike.
ReplyDeleteI believe that each sex has gender expression's of the opposite sex. There is no one way that one sex has to act however there is one way that one sex learns to act. We are such a socially constructed society that things such as a boy liking pink makes him gay or a girl liking sports and hanging with the guys makes her a lesbian. I had a friend constantly police my gender. Whenever I did something feminine I would her his mouth. I didn't realize that I had the power to understand masculinity for myself until recently because I had so many people telling me that the things I like to do or how I acted was feminine. It is hard to break free from what society says a man should be for me because if you want to be seen as a male than you to act as one would but if you want to be happy then you have to define what masculinity means for yourself. It's not an easy task.
ReplyDelete-Jae's comment to Mike
In response to Mike I was also interested to read just how much of the attacks on sexuality were a defense mechanize. His point that the way in which society police sexuality is a way to construct and defend his own sexuality. The children at UYN used their attacks on homosexuality as a way control and dominate people around them. Ultimately the attacks were a way to prove and show their own masculine dominance. My high school was similar to Mike’s in its beliefs. However, my junior year we got a new principle, who is an openly gay man. As an authority figure I think his sexuality was both a way for our community to become more open and welcoming to differences but unfortunately like UYN he was mocked and attacked by students. Students at my high school, particularly the males would question his authority as a way to prove they were not like him. Ultimately he was able to gain control and show that his sexuality did not make him less of discipline figure, and now I think my high school is open to all difference.
ReplyDeleteLike Mike, I also went to a school where there was one person who was transgendered. Although she was born a male, she felt more natural in identifying as a female and planned to undergo a sex change operation one day. I was shocked by the amount of criticism she faced - I constantly heard people refer to her as "he/she" or "it". Although many people were inspired by her courage and accepted her, many people also did not and made degrading comments about her appearance. I was truly shocked and horrified by the extent of what people would say. I'm from a very liberal town in Massachusetts, and thought that my classmates were above judging people based on their sexuality. Ultimately, I learned through my younger brother that she eventually transferred schools.
ReplyDeleteMike, I like that you talked about your personal experience coming out. At my high school, there was a very popular boy who everybody knew. He was involved in countless activities and was pretty much the star of our grade in every aspect. People often made comments that they thought he was gay, but he didn't actually come out until after high school, probably for many of the same reasons as you. When I heard that he had come out, I remember feeling happy for him, but I also felt a twinge of sadness in knowing that our high school wasn't a place where he felt safe in being open about his sexuality. Like you, I'm also from an affluent, predominately white suburb. I think it just goes to show that homophobia is a problem that extends across boundaries of race and class.