After reading Michael Kimmel’s piece “Bro’s Before Ho’s”,
the reader can take away a much deeper perception of just how one sided the
male society has become in today’s world. Kimmel writes early on in his piece
about using the term “that’s so gay.” However, the interesting part about this
saying is that it is rarely used while describing a person, or characteristic,
that is actually gay. The term is usually generalizing an article of clothing,
the music a person listens to, or anything else that society considers bad.
Kimmel writes how the term has been socially constructed into being “a generic
bad thing.” (Pg 48). He is right in saying this because if we were to go to any
high school in the country, all it would take is a simple walk through the
hallways to hear this term being thrown around to put someone down or describe
something as dumb, stupid, or bad.
Another interesting part of
Kimmel’s piece was looking at where this “guy code” comes from and how early on
in one’s life it starts to be developed. The fact of today’s society is that
from an early age almost all children are brought up by their mother, whether
the father is not part of the child’s life or the father is off working to
supply for the family. This enstills the idea in the eye’s of society that
until the boy is able to disconnect himself from the way he has been babied by
his mother, the boy has yet to follow the guy code. While the mother is often
considered the one to baby her son more than the father, it is now an area for
concern for a child if he has no father figure in his life. Is that a worthy
concern? Can a boy struggle to be considered a real “man” if he never has a
father figure to help him grow up?
As
Kimmel continued to talk about the “Guy Code” and Guyland, he brings up a great
point in the idea of entitlement. Our society has been constructed in ways in
which the power ends up in the hands of the masculine men. However, as not all
men receive this power, men are able to have the opportunity to grab hold of
it. Kimmel writes, “But even when they (men) feel powerless, unlike women, men
feel entitled to power. (Pg 60) Kimmel backs his point by using an example of
when he appeared on a television talk show call “A Black Women Stole My Job”.
Kimmel raises the point about the title of the show and what the “my” really
stands for. These men who claim a black women stole their job is a perfet
example of the entitlement that males in our society feel today. From the
beginning, these men deemed this job as theirs to lose, and now for one reason
or another, feel that they had been victims of work discrimination. Our society
has been constructed in a way in which the male population has received the
majority of the power. Look at any big industry, sports franchise, etc. and in
all likely hood each business is being run by a male. Not only does this keep
the power within the male population, but it also limits women to how
successful they can really be. While the power is primarily within the male
population, it is possible for males to keep the power within the male
population because men control essentially how much power women can have in the
business world. Men are typically the ones hiring for jobs and they ultimately
get to decide who receives the power and usually it is kept within the male
population.
Lastly,
Kimmel brings up the motto of “Bro’s before Ho’s.” It is believed, or
portrayed, that the male population is supposed to side with the male
population or else you are not considered to be part of this powerful
brotherhood. The men are supposed to stay loyal to their guy friends and never
take the side of a women over a male, despite whether or not the male may be in
the wrong. The idea that men have to keep the power within the male population
is a strong foundation for many of the problems in our world today, and
unfortunately this is how society has been constructed and ultimately will be
extremely hard to change.
Comment by Emily Hunter: I like Keith’s point on the “code of silence” between men. This past summer I played on a men’s water polo team in Atlanta, Georgia. Throughout the season I noticed the coach, also being male, had a tendency to use insulting phrasings such as “Stop playing like a pussy!”, “Why are you all shooting like girls?”, and “Even a girl could play better than you!”. During the practices some of the guys would lean over and say “Don’t listen to what he is saying” or “He doesn’t mean what he is saying. He doesn’t understand it is insulting to you.” One practice I became extremely fed up with his comments and called him out on them saying that I took great insult to his choice of language which demoralized women. I was in shock when the coach asked if any of the guys thought his language was inappropriate, and no one spoke up. Even the men who had fully supported me in secrecy now no longer took my side. It appears that even adult men always place Bro’s before Ho’s.
ReplyDeleteMichael Murgo
ReplyDeleteYour reflection on entitlement was fascinating. In the patriarchy in which we all live, men often times don't even realize that they are privileged and feel entitled to certain aspects of life that others do not have. They're so used to everything being theirs, that when underprivileged groups, like black women, succeed in acquiring something that these men want, they feel that they were robbed. Unfortunately, such backwards thinking is so pervasive in our society that people see each other doing it and use that as a way to justify their own behavior. This needs to be changed. Just because women have the "opportunity" to participate in politics and just because poor black kids technically have the "opportunity" to get an education and succeed in life doesn't mean that injustice has been solved - men vastly outnumber women in politics and poor black students still face social and institutional racism and obstacles. The people with power and privilege need to work to give it up for the climate of equality in this country to get any better.
As Keith talked about in his response the idea of bro’s before ho’s has become a very popular motto adopted by boys and men. This initial idea derives from the homosocial activities boys participate in throughout their life. They join fraternities, athletic teams and even engage in “boy’s night”. It is here that they learn the importance of having each other’s backs in any situation. They do this to insure their membership in the “brotherhood”, as Keith referred to it in his response. This common idea is perpetuated in the media and in several movies. The Hangover is a perfect example of the bond between bro’s.
ReplyDeleteRyland Hormel’s Comment: Keith talks about how we could walk down a high school hallway and hear the term “gay” being thrown around and used to mean stupid, whack, and other terms of that nature. It is very true how often one hears this term used for something completely out of context. It is not only high school where you would hear it, but also in college, and most institutions. I have been on sports teams my whole life and people constantly use that term to describe things. I would argue that one would not know the negativity and harshness of the word until they are confronted about it, or see the effect it could have on someone first hand.
ReplyDeleteJohn Gallagher Comment
ReplyDeleteI think Keith (via Kimmel) raises a very good point in his last paragraph. Unfortunately, this is how our society forces us to grow up beginning in elementary school. I have heard the phrase "bros before hoes" over a hundred times since my freshman year of high school if I had to guess. It persuades boys into thinking that it isn't cool to hang out with a girl that they may like or just want to spend time with. It has happened to me plenty of times. And it DOES have an effect. Often times you are made to feel like you are letting your guy friends down, and will be left behind or continuously ridiculed if you hang out with girls. Its sad, but its true.
I really like that Keith brought power into his discussion of Kimmel. Keith raises a really excellent point when he talks about men, women and the business world. I also think it is important to bring to that discussion of what are the consequences for women when being in power and control is defined as a masculine trait. When femininity is defined as being submissive, what are the consequences for a women who is aspiring to a position of power?
ReplyDelete- Brooke Dinsmore
Keith, I'm glad you brought up the "Bros before hoes" motto. When you really sit and ponder on it, which is feel you lightly touched upon what I'm going to say, the motto itself reinforces this cycle of gender norms. It's as if men are creating their own mini cults or fraternities as a justification for their manhood. If that, sometimes, the motto carries more significance for the person saying it than for the group as a whole. The motto then becomes more of a mantra, for the guys to reassure himself that he is a man, not a woman; that a man is better than a woman.
ReplyDeleteWhat this motto makes me think about too is the parallel amongst women, the motto "chicks before dicks". I went to an all girl high school, where my former peers often would say this. It's quite interesting, because women are taking after men in that sense, creating their own little cults/sororities of some sort. The thing is that no one points that out. It could be because woman emotionally bond more with others...or it could also be because it models the "bro's before hoes" mantra, which would make sense given the upper hand men have in society overall.
Melissa Monsalve