As my roommate watches ESPN with great
interest, I sit at my desk typing this and rolling my eyes at the
boisterous announcers as they all yell and make fools of themselves.
I don't understand sports culture. I have never really been much into
sports, and when I was younger I tried to find my niche in a
particular sport, to no avail. I know that many of my peers are much
more fascinated by Sports Center than I, but I fail to see how any of
this is relevant to their lives. Don't get me wrong, I love going to
sporting events in real life, but somehow the window of a TV screen
shatters the buzz and elation. After reading “Boys and Men in
Families” by Michele Adams and Scott Coltrane, I have come to a
better understanding of why. The product of a divorced household, my
mother the custodial parent, my father spent time with my brother and
I on weekends and sometimes during the week, but this time together
got sparse with our busy schedule conflicting, which may be why I
have never found an interest in sports. My father never watched
sports with me, explained the rules, did any of the things that most
Dads do with their sons regarding mainstream sports. It seems to be
something that is the product of socialization within the family, and
as Adams and Coltrane say, “Fathers tend to enforce gender
stereotypes,” my father just didn't enforce it.
Reading further into the article,
Adams and Coltrane describe how the institution of marriage continues
the circuit of household inequality, and how this inequality leaks
out into the vast scheme of society. This article shows how the
cycle continues by the impressions parents give their children
throughout their upbringing, and focuses on how fathers impact the
development of their sons. Women, traditionally, are the
housekeepers, and the masters of the private sphere, while men work
and play in the public sphere. Boys are often expected not to cry or
show too much emotion, and they come to understand that women work
around the house as that is what they experience through their
parents. Protecting masculinity in their sons is hugely important for
many fathers, but the fact of the matter is that it is hurting many
boys. Boys are more likely to experience mental illness, suicide, and
boys are the cause of the school shootings that have taken place in
the United States. Protecting masculinity seems to have negative
impacts on the mental health of boys, which is why the pressure of
upholding some of these values should not be emphasized by society.
This carries on into their late
adolescence and early adulthood, as Michael Kimmel writes in the
article “'Bro's Before Hos': The Guy Code”. Guys definitely have
a completely different set of rules than the rest of society, but why
is it that they feel like they can get away with more? It likely has
to do with the “boys will be boys” mentality that many males are
raised with, where they are offered more leniency by parents and it
is expected of them to do outrageous things because that's the norm.
While I have never experienced many of these events, I have heard
stories, such as an incident of hazing my freshman year of high
school, which broke the “culture of silence” surrounding the
code. I stand by the boy's decision to speak up; it shows that he was
brave enough not to conform to the ridiculous standards set by the
code.
Comment by Emily Hunter: Dakota asks why guys feel that they can get away with more and attributes this idea to the fact that boys have been told “boys will be boys”. I fully agree that this aspect of their socialization plays a role in why men feel they can push boundaries, but I do not think that boys’ confidence to push limits is solely attributed to “boys will be boys”. I think it is important to remember that from birth boys learn that it is honorable to have a penis. In understanding they are powerful because they have a penis they begin to feel entitled to certain objects and/or experiences throughout life. Therefore, because men are taught to feel entitled, they may feel that the actions they are performing are somewhat justified, regardless of whether the actions are appropriate. They are men and therefore their actions are justified because of their entitlement to get what they want.
ReplyDeleteComment by Jenn Hyslip: In light of the Penn State scandal involving the renowned men’s varsity football team, other stories of inappropriate sexual behavior have been popping up in the media. Specifically, one occurred in my hometown of Andover, Massachusetts with the men’s basketball team at the local high school. It was discovered through word of mouth that a few team members were deceived into playing the game commonly referred to as “ookie cookie” or “wet biscuit”. This game involved eating a Oreo cookie covered in bodily fluids (I will let you put two and two together). Talking about the culture of silence in males across the country resonates with this incident. With Andover High Schools basketball team being such a great team in the past, the male that outed the prank was obviously ostracized not only by the team but probably the entire student body. I give props to the boy who reported this team and even though it might ruin a great run for my home town's basketball team, it does show them right.
ReplyDeleteAs you explained in your response your experiences with your dad prove Adams and Coltrane’s argument that “fathers tend to enforce gender stereotypes”. Since watching sports was not a main interest of your dad’s he didn’t portray it as a huge importance in your life. Thus, this could explain why you haven’t found a serious interest in sports. Growing up, I was forced to play and watch sports, at first it was strange to me because I never did gymnastics, cheerleading, or dance like all the other little girls. Although my dad has influenced me to participate in athletics I have truly grown to really enjoy and find passion in the world of sports. However, if my dad had not expressed his love for sports to me would I still have eventually grown to love it? Or was it his influence that dominated my thinking?
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