In "Gentleman or Beast", Bordo discusses the double standard created by society in which men are expected to show their masculinity through strength and dominance, yet also embody the characteristics of a true gentleman and show complete control over their bodies the minute a woman says "no". Bordo brings up how aggression in men is rewarded in our society, adding to the confusion men face in whether they are to act on their animal and primal qualities or perform the role of a gentleman. This immediately made me relate back to the movie "Tough Guise" in which men are constantly performing the role of being dominant, tough, strong, and aggressive and are rewarded for it. Bordo addresses the fact that player who show their dominance on the football field or basketball court are rewarded with "scholarships, community adulation, romantic attention, special attendance deals cut with teachers, administrative leniency when "boys will be boys."" (234). This worshipping of athletes who "perform" masculinity continues even after serious and atrocious crimes have been committed. There are numerous cases of this, such as the teens of Glen Ridge who raped a disabled girl, where athletes have been given mercy and even had members of the community rally behind them. To this day, nearly ten years later, the teens of the Glen Ridge rape appeals are still not decided. While the case of Glen Ridge is shocking and disturbing, I think it's important to realize that while rape is a touchy case, these boys were acting out and performing socially constructed masculine ideas to the extreme. In no way were/are their actions acceptable but I do think it's necessary to look at how society demands and tells men to be these strong, powerful, dominating figures but does a terrible job of drawing the line. Some boys, like the Glen Ridge boys and the Massachusetts Basketball players who forced other players to eat semen covered Oreos, take it too far and become overpowering and over dominating and seem to lose control of their power.
I was very interested in the part where Bordo discusses boys being reprimanded for their actions toward girls in school. Bordo set the scene of a 7 year old boy planting a kiss on an unwilling female playmate and describes how he may become labeled as a "sexual delinquent". I am working as a first grade tutor in New London and have seen a boy be sent to the office for grabbing a girl's hand who did not want to be touched and she proceeded to cause a fuss. The teacher immediately scolded the boy and told him that was "not how you treat a lady". Girls are able to get away with a lot more when it comes to making sexual jokes about boys in middle and high school and physical contact on their terms with boys, "yet, when it is a boy involved, we seem to forget his need to play, experiment, and fail in order to grow. Instead, we respond as though he is a full-fledged aggressor" (240). This is one of the double standards that boys face in today's society that Bordo brings to the surface in her article. I was shocked at how it proved so true in my own experiences working with young boys and girls in schools.
Comment by Emily Hunter: The issue of punishing young boys for their experimentation with girls at a young age is something I initially glanced over when reading the article, but began to think more about after reading Josephine’s post. It is possible that some of the confusion men feel when it comes to interacting with women may stem from this very issue. If a young boy is not taught how to interact with girls at a young age, how is he expected to understand how to act when placed in a “romantic” situation? When the teacher tells the young boy it is not appropriate to take a girls hand, he may refrain from ever attempting to hold a girls hand or initiating any form of contact. When this restrain builds up inside of him, he may act out leading to more aggressive behavior towards a woman, or even rape. By allowing young boys to experiment with contact, we may be able to create a healthier understanding of what is appropriate later on.
ReplyDeleteJosephine, I really like your last point in your response. When Bordo discusses the scene with the 7-year-old boy. This reminded me of my childhood. Most times my brother and I would be playing physically things would get out of hand. I would hit him and he would hit me (in a loving playful way). But my brother would always get in trouble even though I was the older more responsible one. My parents would always tell him it was not ok to hit a girl or be violent against me. But they never said anything to me even though I was doing the same to him. Boys and men’s violence is taken much more seriously and policed in a harsher fashion.
ReplyDeleteMichael Murgo
ReplyDeleteYour first paragraph got me thinking: yes, society and our culture are at least partly responsible for instilling extreme ideas of masculinity in the minds of men and boys everywhere, and as you said this does not excuse the actions of rapists, but how are we going fix this? How are we going to become a society that does not encourage men to adopt adopt ideals of extreme aggression and carelessness? We've certainly identified the problems in this class, but we haven't discussed solutions. It seems like such a daunting task, changing the cultural landscape of America, but we have to start somewhere. Being educated in these issues is probably the first step.
Also, I applaud you for critiquing both genders in your post - "yet, when it is a boy involved, we seem to forget his need to play, experiment, and fail in order to grow. Instead, we respond as though he is a full-fledged aggressor" Double standards are everywhere, and while women certainly face larger hurdles in man-centered world in which we live, it's easy to forget that men also face an amount of double standards not in their favor.
Comment by Jenn Hyslip: The last part of your response reminded me of a few examples I have seen in the media in the past week. First of all, I was watching the reality TV show titled "T.I. and Tiny" on VH1. I'm not really sure what the premise of the show, as I only got to see one scene of it. In this scene the father asks his sons, "how do you treat a woman?" The youngest son, who is probably four years old at most says, "bad and sneaky". The oldest son says, "with respect" (thank god). But, in response to this, the middle son said, "but how you gonna get laid?" I was astonished. All of these boys were under the age of ten. To hear them say this speaks to how engrained the images of dominant males are in our society. A second example was on Desperate Housewives. One of the housewives daughters got in trouble for "sexual harassment" as she kissed her crush on the cheek on the playground. However, she was let off the hook because she was a girl. Both of these examples speak to the socially constructed messages of masculinity and femininity are integrated with regards to intimate relationships.
ReplyDeleteJohn Gallagher
ReplyDeleteJosephine I also really liked your last paragraph. Its something I never have really thought about but is very true. Boys are reprimanded much more for acts as such in elementary school up through high school. It is always a much more sensitive issue when boys make the actions then when girls do. It is such a double standard. When girls and boys act this way in first grade, they are just having fun and I don't think there is a need for harping on the boys more so than girls.
Josephine, I really loved how you further developed Bordo's point about double standards surrounding boys and girl's behavior. I think what becomes interesting here and from Bordo's point is how do you reconcile this strong double standard in elementary schools with the Glen Ridge situation? Why is it that such strong sanctions are taken against boy's sexual or physical aggression in some cases but not in others? What we have seen in Guyland thus far is that there are men who aren't getting strongly sanctioned for sexual aggression - is the answer that we are sanctioning the wrong people? Elementary students but not college students? Its an interesting dilemma.
ReplyDelete-Brooke Dinsmore