When I was younger, I remember that for the longest time my Mom wouldn’t let my little brother buy a supersoaker, a popular toy at the time, because she thought it too closely resembled a gun. At the time, I didn’t understand my Mom’s logic. It was just a toy, I thought, what’s the big deal? However, after watching “Tough Guise”, I think it’s very clear what the “big deal” was. From a very young age, boys are taught to be dominant, in control, and to show no emotions. They are told not to cry or be a wuss; instead, they are taught that violence is the only socially acceptable outlet for their emotions. In essence, it’s okay for men to be mad, but heaven forbid they act sad.
I think it’s often easy for many people to think or to pretend that violence from men isn’t an issue. In many cases, people seem to think that men are naturally born with the inclination to be violent and crave dominance. Therefore, they don’t see it as a social problem, or maybe even as a problem at all. Last week, I was reading the popular women’s magazine, Cosmo. One section of the magazine was a feature called “What’s Sexy Now.” Number six on the list was “Letting Him Take the Lead.” To quote the magazine: “It may seem a little retro, but the simple act of allowing your guy to forge a path for the two of you can do wonders for his ego and your relationship. ‘Men are wired to take charge and protect you,’ says William July, PhD....” I was really shocked to read this, and actually went back and reread the section several times because I could hardly believe what I was reading. This is the perfect example of how men are taught that they need to be powerful and in control and how women are taught to accept this a reality. The truth is that the toughness guys are taught to exude is anything but natural. In reality, it is nothing but a disguise that boys and men are forced to wear.
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